The First Lady Strallan
by Lady Kiddymonster
Summary: Orphaned Edith Crawley marries widowed baronet Sir Anthony Strallan in France after a whirlwind romance. He brings his shy young bride to Locksley, his Yorkshire estate, but can she cope with the far reaching shadows cast by Maud, the first Lady Strallan and will love enable her to penetrate the enigma surrounding her new husband? Told solely from Edith's POV.
1. Chapter 1 A meeting

**The First Lady Strallan**

**A/N: This is my first crossover. In this story Edith is not an earl's daughter but an orphaned girl raised by her paternal grandmother, Violet, after the death of her family. Although this is set in 1920 Anthony is not injured for the purpose of this story.**

**Chapter 1**

_Last night I dreamt I went to Locksley again. I remember the gravel drive which Anthony & I walked along so many times but as I drew nearer I saw the fence was rusty and almost covered with weeds and ivy. Beyond that I could see the charred remains of the house we loved; the burnt ruins clawing the sky like blackened talons and I cried. Anthony loved the house too but his memories were very different from mine. Much more painful although I suspect he travels here in his mind often; unknown to me. But I am way ahead of myself so I suppose I should start at the beginning and tell you how it all began and ended._

It was a cool mild climate in the south of France but the doctor had recommended a mild climate to my grandmother, Violet. We both understood that it was medical shorthand for the fact there was little more they could do for her and she accepted it with more grace than I had expected because Granny Violet could be difficult at times.

"I suppose we ought to look for a husband for you, Edith," she said, "then at least you will be looked after when I'm gone. Since you are not yet of age you will have to have my consent as your father is no longer able to give his,"

I hated it when she reminded me of my orphaned status but I supposed I could not get away from it because it was true. My parents, Robert and Cora, my American mother, had been killed in a motorcar accident five years before when I was but fourteen and I had had no siblings so, other than Granny Violet, I was quite alone in the world. I was nineteen; gangly and socially inept due to my shyness. I could not imagine that any man would ever look at me for any reason other than to pity me so I was far from confident. I had pale skin and auburn hair. I had never been courted and never been a debutante because that was for girls far above our humble station in life. Of course I dreamt about finding a handsome man to sweep me off my feet. He would be dark and brooding; a bit like Heathcliff only considerably kinder and more civilised. How was I to know that the man who would rescue me would be a tall blonde baronet with the most beautiful blue eyes in the world? But I knew nothing beyond the theories of what a man expected from a wife and it frightened me a little. I knew about sex of course, and babies but the idea terrified me so I suspected I would be as inadequate as a wife as I was in all other aspects of my life.

I cringed that evening in the dining room of the pension where we were held up to wait out the autumn. Granny Violet allowed me a small glass of wine and we sat while she tried to ingratiate herself with one or two people who were clearly more well to do than us. I wished I had been allowed to remain in my room and read but Granny Violet forbade it saying "Edith, you will never find a husband if you don't at least talk to some of the young men."

"But most of them probably have wives already," I protested.

"A little practise never harmed anyone," she snapped.

OO

After dinner we moved on into the lounge bar. Granny was wearing a peacock blue dress with sequins which, in my view, made her look like mutton dressed as lamb but she wasn't long for this world so I didn't begrudge her a bit of flirtatious behaviour. Maybe if I studied her I might even learn something.

OO

A tall blonde man walked into the room and I thought my heart had stopped. He was tall, blonde and gorgeous and his eyes; god I had never seen eyes so blue.

But there was sadness behind those eyes and his brow was furrowed by a frown. I wondered what dark secrets this so far enigmatic man was hiding from the world for he pushed away various persons who approached him. He looked right at me then and a half smile spread across his face. I cast my eyes down; sure he pitied me for my plain dress and features. I was thankful that Granny Violet had not appeared to notice him.

Later that evening, when we had retired to our adjoining rooms and I went to give her medication I asked.

"Granny, who was that tall blonde man with blue eyes,"

"Why, surely you have heard of Sir Anthony Strallan?" Violet gasped, "They say he's here trying to get over the death of his wife."


	2. Chapter 2 Secret courtship

**Chapter 2**

The following morning Granny Violet awoke feeling rather lethargic and feverish with a nasty tickly cough. She ached in every joint and muscle and felt generally bad. I was sent to fetch the hotel doctor who diagnosed influenza. He prescribed an expectorant for the cough, aspirin to relieve the aches and pains in addition to light nourishing meals, such as clear soup plus plenty of water and beef tea to drink. He said he would advise the hotel kitchen with regard to this.

"There is no point in you being stuck here, Edith," she said, "Why don't you go and find someone to talk to? I know there aren't many people your age here but I am sure you can find someone to talk to, go out for a walk with or something. I don't want you under my feet all day."

"Alright Granny," I sighed. At least it was a warm day and not raining which was a bonus.

I had thought about reading. For some bizarre reason Granny Violet hated reading and indeed I had never seen her pick up a book out of choice. I loved a good mystery and was halfway through the new mystery by Agatha Christie. The Mysterious Affair at Styles it was called. It was engaging and exciting with red herrings aplenty; the best kind of mystery in my opinion. I got ideas for my romantic heroes out of books but Hercule Poirot, the little Belgian refugee, did not strike me as the romantic hero type. Captain Hastings on the other hand came across as far more dashing and in, some ways, as socially inept as I was.

But my thoughts were not with Agatha Christie at this time. Indeed it came to me that I had seen my own romantic hero the previous evening; in the shape of the enigmatically gorgeous Sir Anthony Strallan. Just what thoughts lingered in his mind and what passions stirred his heart. I was pretty sure he would not be remotely interested in a plain gawky young girl like me and I doubted he would even acknowledge me out of company.

I breakfasted alone in the high vaulted hotel dining room. It was dull and chilly in the large room so I did not linger over my coffee and croissants.

Granny Violet was always trying to encourage me to develop an interest outside of books; something like sketching or needlepoint. I guessed she was trying to get me to do such things in order to attract the favour of young ladies so I might make friends with influence. I appreciated she was trying to encourage me to better myself but I liked books and no man or woman in life achieved anything without some degree of learning; whether from books or under a governess's watchful eye. Indeed Granny Violet herself had once been a governess and her eye was certainly watchful. She was fiercely intelligent so I began to wonder if that had skipped a generation, passing me by, although I was by no means simple.

I went out for a walk; taking only a small bag containing a pen, notebook and a bottle of drinking water.

OO

I came to a rocky outcrop of rock and my heart stood still when I beheld a tall figure sitting on an outcrop of rock staring down into the water below. He stood and took two steps further away and a terrible dread knotted my stomach.

"Please don't jump!" I managed to call out; aware of how hard my heart was beating, "Things surely cannot be so bad,"

"What would you know about my life?" the man turned and came down the rock a little way. A pair of intense blue eyes fixed on me. I was right; it was Sir Anthony Strallan.

"Nothing," I faltered, "It's just that it saddens me that people put an end to their lives in such a way."

"Well with the war we have just been through and the dismal state of humanity is it any wonder men become so desperate?" he said. I was not sure if he was angry or just defensive.

"I know you lost your wife," I stammered, "but surely she would want you to pick up the pieces and move on,"

"You know nothing about her," he snarled, "Believe me, her death destroyed me enough and that was through her own design. My deciding to jump would be just what she wanted and I have no intention whatsoever of giving her that satisfaction. I just came here to be alone and remember when we were happy because there was a time once; although I can scarce believe it now. "

I wasn't sure how to respond to that; such adult meaning of life conversations were beyond my limited life experience. He stood stock still for a while too.

Then he smiled.

"I'm truly sorry to have frightened you," he said, "Please forgive me; it's just that sometimes...well if you had my memories and experience I would defy you to not have contemplated it."

"That's alright," I said.

"You're very shy." It was an observation.

"Well I was home educated and had no siblings so I am not really used to company of my own age or any other; all I have is Granny Violet because my parents are dead."

"I'm very sorry to hear that," he did indeed seem genuine about that but I was beginning to get the impression that he was incredibly complex, "How did they die?"

"They were killed in a motorcar accident in London, five years since."

"And what's your name?" he asked me.

"Edith Sir, Edith Crawley."

"Well, Edith Crawley," his smile lit his face, "would you care to come with me and have some coffee? Don't worry, I am a gentleman so your virtue, for I don't doubt you still have it, will be safe enough."

"That would be alright," I stammered; hardly able to believe that such a gorgeous man had asked a wall flower like me out for coffee but then I didn't see any more glamorous socialites.

"No doubt you know who I am," there was a faint trace of bitterness in his voice, "well no doubt they told you my name at least."

"I know nothing but that you are Sir Anthony Strallan and you recently lost your wife," I said softly, "Anymore than that I have no need to know for now."

"You are a breath of fresh air," he said, "Everyone else now; they pry into my business every time they open their mouths."

We walked away from the rocks; which would have unsettled me even had I not feared he might commit suicide in my sights and we went back to the hotel where he ordered coffee for both of us.

Before I knew it the shadows were lengthening with the advent of evening and I realised I had enjoyed his company.

"Edith, I have to dine with friends this evening so I must excuse myself but I expect to see you tomorrow if you would care to accompany me for a trip along the coast?"

"I would love to," I said.

"Good because I have enjoyed your company," I was surprised when he kissed me on the cheek. "Until tomorrow then, Edith."

"Tomorrow," I whispered, my bottom lip trembling.

I then thought of something I really wanted to know but wondered if I dared ask him but ask I did.

"Sir Anthony, I have no business prying into your life and I am sorry if this question offends you but I have to know,"

"Know what?" his voice acquired a brusque clipped quality.

"The late Lady Strallan, what was her name?"

He looked right at me yet at the same time I felt he looked right through me.

"Maud," he said simply, "her name was Maud."


	3. Chapter 3 An unexpected proposal

**Chapter 3**

**A/N: in the du Maurier novel Maxim de Winter and his second wife met in Monte Carlo where she worked as a companion to an awful American lady called Mrs Van Hopper. Mrs V H decided to return stateside so Maxim gave her the choice of going with her or returning to Manderley as his wife. Granny Violet decides to move on so what will Edith say when Anthony gives her a similar choice?**

Granny Violet was confined to bed for a couple of weeks and her doctor insisted she have a trained nurse. I didn't mind so much although I disliked the inference that I was not capable of taking care of her myself. After all had I not done so for years; ever since her health had begun to fail shortly after my sixteenth birthday?

Still it gave me plenty of opportunity to spend time with Sir Anthony. I told Granny I was taking badminton lessons and she didn't question it; I supposed she was glad I had found a way of passing the time while she was confined to bed.

Anthony was engaging company; he opened my mind to all sorts of things related to literature and music and we would discuss these at some length. He rarely came down for breakfast but most days we shared luncheon and dinner. My dull life was an open book to him but he became more of an enigma. He took me for long drives in his motor car and I began to enjoy the thrill of high speed; the wind whistling past us as it ruffled our hair. But never once did he speak of Maud or of Locksley and so I built up pictures in my mind. I found myself thinking about him in the rare moments when I was alone and I realised I was having some rather unladylike dreams about him. I blushed to think of them then scolded myself; as if he would want to do that with and to me? But then he was spending a lot of time with me and he didn't appear to be doing it under duress although there were a couple of women at the hotel now who were older and far more sophisticated than me. He didn't give them a second glance and it puzzled me that he did not seek their company.

One day I discovered the reason for this quite by accident. We were driving along the coast road and I said it would be wonderful if dreams and memories could be stored in bottles and uncorked when we wanted to relive them.

"What events in your short life could you want to relive, Edith?" he asked; a little sharply yet not unkindly.

_Several, I thought, like the first moment I set eyes on you, the moments we have spent together in our all too brief acquaintance._

"Well, I keep having this dream where I'm aged thirty seven dressed in black satin with a necklace of pearls, my hair dyed platinum blonde and speeding along in a shiny electric blue car. I'm a woman of the world who doesn't make silly faux pas,"

"You would not be in this car with me if you were remotely like that," he said and for a moment a darkness clouded his face and I saw fear and pain in those blue eyes. I kicked myself.

"You have to understand that it's different for me; there are no memories I would wish to relive time and again. My memories are too dark and too painful for that. I would rather they had not happened although I admire your youthful fancies."

I wasn't sure if he was mocking me or not so I said nothing.

"Although I would not mind being able to relive the times we have shared; there is no pain in them and you have made me happier than I have been for some time. You are a breath of fresh air and you have given me hope that things can change, that I can move on,"

I knew he was not talking about the war, most men these days had war stories to tell, but I knew that Sir Anthony had had a desk job with military intelligence, about which he was not allowed to talk, so had seen no actual action. He was talking, albeit directly, about Maud, the first Lady Strallan, and his life at Locksley which must seem to be in another place and time now. I wondered if he would ever tell me about her or if I would ever see Locksley for myself. I had looked up his Who's Who entry so knew a little about his lineage but nothing else.

I wasn't sure if I was in love with him or not; I was young and impressionable not to mention flattered by his interest in me. All I knew is that he was constantly in my thoughts. I certainly did not entertain any illusions that he might love me. I still viewed his kindness as an act of charity after all; not that I would ever dare voice that opinion in case it made him angry or drove him away.

"Well we ought to be returning for dinner," He said, "I am sorry if I was sharp with you,"

"I brought you painful memories; I quite understand,"

He put his arm around me and I shivered at the sensation; it was not unpleasant and it was the first time a man had touched me.

OO

When I returned to Granny Violet's room the doctor was with her as well as the nurse and fear gripped me. Had she taken a turn for the worst? But she seemed rather jovial.

"Ah Edith," the doctor said, "I have made arrangements for your grandmother to spend some time in a spa/sanatorium in the Cotswolds."

"For how long?" I asked; alarm gripped me as I realised I would never see Sir Anthony again and after the last couple of weeks when we had spent so much time together that seemed unbearable.

"I don't know yet," he replied, "A month at least; we shall have to see how things go but you need to make arrangements for a return to England."

"Quite," I said, swallowing hard.

OO

I was in a right panic. I knew that Anthony was out that evening and not likely to return until lunchtime the following day which meant I would not get to say goodbye to him. The thought sickened me; my stomach was in knots which pained me. I had to try and delay things so I would at least get to explain. Leaving him a letter would be a discourtesy after the time we had spent together. I especially remembered the feel of his arm around my shoulders for an all too brief moment.

OO

I took my time packing and Granny Violet criticised my apparent lethargy; which was worse because I could not explain it. After all she thought I had been having badminton lessons all this time; not fraternising with a gorgeous widowed baronet.

She sent me to the front desk to enquire about changing our rail reservations to an earlier time. Instead of going to the travel office however I pounded on Anthony's door. It was early the following morning; breakfast was only just beginning to be served.

He opened the door with razor in hand and a beard of white foam.

"Edith," he gasped, "Think about your reputation."

"I don't care about that," I breathed, "I have come to say goodbye"

The wounded look in his eyes was unbearably painful for me to behold and I knew in that moment that I loved him.

"Go," he stammered, "What on earth do you mean?" he ushered me inside the room.

"Granny Violet's doctor wants to send her to a sanatorium in England but it means leaving today. I'm torn because she is my only relative but to never see you again, well that would hurt far more."

"It would hurt me too." He wiped his face with a wet flannel to remove the shaving foam and laid his razor down neatly, "You don't have to go do you?"

"Well I'm not legally an adult so I don't suppose I have much choice in the matter,"

"You know your own mind, Edith. You will dry up and die inside stuck there waiting for her treatments to be completed plus you know how dreary English winters can be,"

"I know that is why I had to come and see you but I don't want it to be goodbye."

He grabbed hold of both my hands in his.

"You have a choice Edith; you can go to wherever your grandmother is bound or you can come to Locksley with me."

"Do you need a secretary or something?"

A look of exasperation graced his handsome features then.

"No, you stupid girl, I'm asking you to marry me."


	4. Chapter 4 Parting of the ways?

**Chapter 4**

There was a brief somewhat awkward silence.

I could not pretend that, if a man ever proposed to me, I had been hoping for a somewhat more romantic ambience.

"Anthony, you can't mean it. I'm not the right woman for you. I'm gauche, plain and socially inept; surely a baronet needs a more accomplished wife in his own class? You would tire of me quickly and your servants would never accept me as a lady. It would create more problems than ever it solved,"

His mouth was close to my ear in moments.

"Sssh!" he murmured, "I want to marry you, Edith Crawley. You are a breath of fresh air. You don't deliberately open old wounds and if you ever did it would be through ignorance. And you're wrong because you are beautiful with your coppery hair, creamy skin and when I look into your brown eyes I feel an incredible sense of love and peace. I want you beside me as my wife," he sighed, "I know it was hardly the most romantic of proposals, for which I apologise, because you deserve a moonlit rose garden and a beautiful white dress but this is urgent Edith."

His lips brushed against mine and I trembled. His mouth felt good on mine and I relaxed and let him kiss me. I kissed him back, a little uncertain as to whether I was doing it right but nonetheless it was a new experience for me and one I knew I would not object to repeating a myriad times in future. He was gentle but I had no doubt he was also capable of ardent brooding passion and to be honest the anticipation excited me in rather unladylike ways. But would Granny Violet be cross with me for deserting her? She had talked about finding me a husband after all but I very much doubted she had been thinking of a widowed baronet twice my age. I felt torn; I loved Anthony but I loved Granny Violet too and, were it not for her, I would have been destitute and homeless following my parents' tragic deaths. I realised I was sorely afraid of telling her about this new development.

Anthony seemed to read my thoughts for he said.

"Change your reservations if you must; I am sure your grandmother's nurse will accompany her in your stead. Do you want to marry me and be mistress of Locksley? If not then say and we can pretend this conversation never happened although I would always remember you with fondness and affection."

"Yes, Sir Anthony," I breathed, looking deep into his lovely blue eyes, "I do very much want to be your wife and mistress of Locksley; I only hope you will not come to regret it."

"I am sure I won't," he smiled, "how can I regret a marriage that will enable me to at least try and put the past behind me?" He kissed the top of my head and smiled at me. The smile made me melt inside. "I will go and talk to your grandmother,"

His lips once again brushed mine; making me shiver with anticipation. I had no doubt that this lovely gentle man would look after me, protect me and love me. It seemed incredible; especially to my mind. He walked off after telling me to come back upstairs in about fifteen minutes time.

OO

I followed Anthony minutes later; I simply did not want to miss hearing Granny Violet's reaction. I waited in my room which adjoined hers.

"Where have you been, Edith?" she seemed rather agitated, "I called the office not ten minutes ago and they had not set eyes on you."

I watched as Anthony walked in and she started at the unexpected visitor.

"Sir Anthony, this is unexpected. I was expecting Edith; the wretched girl is supposed to be changing our travel reservations but the office has not set eyes on her. Still she's a skittish little thing and her mind is easily diverted."

"I am afraid I am the reason for the diversion in this instance Mrs Crawley," he bowed, "Edith came to visit me in a panic; she feared she might never see me again if she returns to England with you."

"Well that would certainly be more than likely." She said.

"I have spent considerable time with your granddaughter in these last weeks while you've been confined to bed," Anthony said, "I am here because I have asked Edith to marry me. I realise I am twice her age but I can and will take care of her. Becoming a baronet's wife will be an elevation in society but I have a more than efficient staff at Locksley that I am confident will help her make the necessary adjustments to her new responsibilities. I know she is concerned about what would happen to her should you pass on while she is still not of age and she feels she lacks the requirements and education to find a situation. I happen to disagree with her there as I am sure she is more accomplished than she believes but I do love her and will do my utmost to make her happy."

"I see," Granny Violet was silent for a time. I was blinking tears from my eyes for no one had ever put my case as eloquently as Anthony just had.

"As Edith is presently only nineteen and you her only living relative I will of course need your consent to marry her,"

"You have it of course, Sir Anthony," she simpered, "But I can't help wondering if your past will come between you and the memories Locksley must hold for you."

"Let me worry about that, Mrs Crawley," his jaw was set in a firm line and I sensed that he wanted the final word on that subject, "It is time to move on and a baronet needs a wife."

"So you will be getting married then returning to Locksley?" Violet asked.

"No, we will travel a little first and get used to each other before I take her home to Yorkshire."

"I can see you are set on this course of action," Violet frowned, "But is this what Edith wants?"

Anthony looked up at that moment and caught my eye; I was peering through a crack in the door.

"Why don't you ask her?" he said.

I walked in.

"Edith, is this what you really want?"

"Yes it is, Granny Violet," I breathed, "Sir Anthony is a wonderful man and you wanted me to have someone to take care of me. Sir Anthony cannot help being twice my age and being a man of the world he will be better equipped to take care of me. I will keep in touch with you, I promise."

"So be it," Violet said, "I give you consent to marry and I wish you well. I will take the nurse with me to the sanatorium; she knows far more about the workings of such places than you do anyway. She can have your reservation."

"Then it is settled," Anthony said, He turned to me, "if you will please excuse me, I have arrangements of my own to make."

He left the room.

"Are you sure you know what you are doing Edith? The man has a shadowy past, we don't know what became of his first wife and he probably has a lot of emotional baggage. Then you will be thrust into society and you are ill-prepared for that given your experience in life so far. His sort of people doesn't readily mix with our sort; something like oil and water. You will be taking on a lot and you barely know him so how can you claim love. I think this is very ill-advised, Edith, but you have made your choice and I have to live with that. At least you will be looked after; that much I can see but be warned, I think that you will live to regret this."

"Time will tell," I said.


	5. Chapter 5 Wedded Bliss

**Chapter 5**

**Rating rises to M here on account of a wedding night.**

**A/N: i have tried to lace this chapter with dark hints of what Edith will experience later in reference to being in Maud's shadow once they return to Locksley.**

Sir Anthony and I were married five days later at the town hall. The witnesses were paid strangers for Granny Violet had moved on to the English sanatorium. The ceremony itself was a bilingual affair but since Anthony & I were both fluent in French we were not troubled. Granny Violet did not know French but had provided a written statement that, as my only blood relative, she gave me consent to marry as my being below the age of majority befitted. A lawyer had taken the statement and provided a French translation which she had duly signed.

The ceremony was followed by a long leisurely lunch and a long drive. I was blissfully happy to be with him as the enormity of my imminent responsibilities as a baronet's wife had not yet sunk in. I was sure I would not prove adequate but had promised both Anthony and myself that I would do my best to make a success of things. He was quite simply gorgeous and I'm sure I must have looked plain beside him so I don't doubt that anyone observing us was wondering "What on earth does he see in her; she's little more than a child."

As the evening wore on my stomach came knotted with apprehension as I knew my first test as a wife was yet to come; this was the aspect I both anticipated and dreaded the most. Anthony had his arm around my waist and whispered that he understood; that he would be gentle with me and teach me how to please him. His patience with me seemed infinite and I realised that he did genuinely love me although whether he was _in love_ with me was another matter. I knew that I loved him. Granny Violet's lecture after he had gone off to arrange things had upset me a little although I knew that she was concerned for me. We knew so little about Anthony after all; right to the point that we did not know the exact circumstances of the first Lady Strallan's death. Did Granny Violet suspect him of being a cold blooded wife murderer? I wasn't sure although I could not believe that of him.

On the day when I had seen Granny Violet and the nurse off at the station she had hugged me tight and whispered.

"Mind you write, Edith, for I shall be anxious until I hear that all is well; above all be complacent about nothing and take care of yourself."

"I shall be fine," I reassured although this was said more for my own than for her sake.

OO

Anthony poured us some wine as we sat in our room. I could feel sweat trickling down inside my brassiere and between my breasts. I was fidgeting with nervous anxiety. I wanted so badly to become his wife in the real sense but I so dreaded being a disappointment to him on that score as well. I knew that men whose wives were inadequate on that score took mistresses and I had no desire to be a wronged wife. To know that Anthony had lain with other women who were little more than cheap whores would hurt me more than anything so I had to get it right straight off. I had no reason to know then that the first Lady Strallan had taken lovers or how badly it had hurt him.

"Anthony," I whispered, "I'm afraid...of what is to come. I know you will not hurt me but I want it to be right and memorable for us both,"

"Edith darling," he was nuzzling my bare neck having expertly slipped my dress off my shoulders, "It will be alright."

I turned to him and he kissed me hard; claiming my mouth for his own and I melted against him. I had been reading a few erotic novels which I had had to hide under my pillow as Granny Violet would have had a fit had she known. I had some idea of things but so far my experience beyond kissing was theoretical only.

The room was lit by candles and the light was turned low; lending a soft romantic ambience to the room. Anthony's room was far bigger than the room I had had next to Granny Violet. The double bed was dark wood and curtained with red brocade. The bed linen was clean and the crimson coverlet looked far more luxurious than any bed linen I had yet laid my body against.

Anthony very gently slipped my dress down my slender body, stopping to caress me intermittently with his sensual mouth. The dress was discarded and he began to gently caress my breasts with his mouth. I had felt my nipples harden and I moaned softly as I felt his tongue swirl around my breasts, licking and sucking gently.

"How does that feel my darling?"

"Wonderful," I breathed, shivering at the sensation of his warm breath in my ear.

He gently undressed me and my fingers removed his cravat and unbuttoned his shirt with a deftness which surprised us both. His shirt was light blue which made his gorgeous eyes seem even bluer. I gasped as I took him in; his smooth yet muscular chest covered with a thin smattering of blond hair. His arms were muscular as were his back, shoulders and chest. Physically speaking he was quite simply Greek God perfection.

"You're magnificent," I gasped, as my breath caught in my throat.

"And I'm all yours," he whispered as his mouth caressed my throat.

At that point in time I chose not to remember that he had previously belonged to another woman about whom I knew nothing save for the fact that her name had been Maud and she was dead. I was later to learn that she had a hold on him still yet not in the physical sense. None of that mattered right now.

He laid me on the bed and lay beside me; his hands and mouth caressing as my hands roamed over his body, caressing and my mouth claimed his so hard it took our breath quite away.

His mouth descended to my sex and I began to shiver violently as his mouth and tongue licked and caressed, biting ever so gently on my labia and nibbling my clitoris. I had read about this in my novels but wasn't sure it existed. I knew now as his mouth stirred me into a series of violent climaxes.

"Anthony," I murmured, "Oh my god...don't stop. I never knew sensations like this could exist,"

I could not stop trembling; the sensation of Anthony's mouth in my private space was driving me wild with a crazed animal lust I never realised a woman could experience. All the novels I had read gave the impression it was the man got all the pleasure but those novels were being proved wrong with every lick, every caress. I threw my head back as deep moans of longing emanated from my throat. I had seen how big and hard he was and I suddenly felt that I should die if I did not experience his hardness thrusting between my thighs. This was the place for the unladylike thoughts I had been having. I was aware that I was aroused; desperately wanting him to claim me as his wife. I could feel the feminine fluid gushing between my legs and caking on my inner thighs which were wet and slippery with delicious lust.

"Oh god Anthony," I almost screamed, "Take me now. I have to have you inside me. Oh god you are gorgeous."

He moved back up my body; his tongue stopping to titillate my navel and breasts before once again taking my breath away by ardently claiming my mouth.

"You are definitely ready," his voice, deep and husky with lust whispered in my ear as he nibbled my earlobe, "My god, I feared I may have lost my touch but that fear is long dissolved by your heat. Maud never got _that _wet,"

I smiled; so I had ranked better than the first Lady Strallan and that was a comment I would come to cling to in the future when it seemed their life together would eclipse my existence and make me feel a guest in my own home and bed.

I moaned softly as he thrust his hardened phallus deep between my legs and I wrapped my arms around him, claiming his back and shoulders with my blunted nails I raked and he gave a cry.

"Oh God Edith, don't stop."

"Doesn't it hurt?" I was surprised.

"It's pain lets us know we're alive," he replied huskily, "You can claw my back to shreds if you've a mind; I don't care because I have never known such raw passion."

My nails dug in as he thrust hard and deep into my dripping sex. I pushed up against him as he rode me hard and we both became drenched with sweat that trickled unhindered between my pert breasts.

"Edith, oh my god," he moaned as he released himself inside me and moments later I felt my own stickiness mingle with his.

He held me close to him and we kissed.

"See, you had nothing to worry about," he said gently, "You were just wonderful. Did I satisfy you?"

"Yes," I moaned, "Oh god, I can't believe what I was worried about."

"It's natural for a woman to worry when it's her first time," he said, "The trouble is a lot of men colour a woman's experience for life by not taking their time."

"It's a memory I will treasure," I whispered.


	6. Chapter 6 Return to Locksley

**Chapter 6**

**A/N: The physical description of Mrs Danvers in this chapter is courtesy of Daphne du Maurier since she did it so well it can't be improved on**

**I have "borrowed" Carson for this story because Edith never feels at ease with him.**

**Three months later.**

Anthony & I spent a wonderful three months in Europe: we visited France, Austria and Italy. By day we took walks; visited museums and art galleries and dined at wonderful restaurants getting a real flavour for local cuisine and culture. By night we made love; becoming increasingly more adventurous between the sheets and falling more in love than ever. He was a wonderful tender lover but he also had reckless passion in him that would leave both of us sweating and breathless until we collapsed in near exhaustion and often in the early hours of the morning. I really felt like a woman of the world now and he would take me to social gatherings. I was surprised to find that my social confidence was increasing and I felt far less awkward. I even managed to master which spoon and fork went with which course when we attended Embassy dinner parties. It felt good to be seen on his arm but I noticed he always skilfully deflected any questions concerning Locksley and his late wife; turning the attention instead to how happy I made him. He told me every day how much he loved me and I returned that because I felt it deeply.

However all good things must come to an end and while I was delighted when he told me we were headed home to Locksley I was also apprehensive. I was not sure how I would be received by his servants and the locals. I wondered if I would be considered an interloper on the late Lady Strallan's territory and I had no way of knowing just how inferior one member of his staff in particular would make me feel. We had no apprehension or portent of fear and distress else I don't think we would have gone back there but in hindsight it is easy to say such things. In truth though, looking through the rear view mirror of life so to speak, going back, for Anthony, was the worst decision he ever could have made but once again I am jumping ahead of myself.

It was a warm spring day when we returned to England. I knew that Granny Violet had left the sanatorium and was in fact considerably better. Anthony promised me she could come and visit us at Locksley once we were settled. We stayed at a hotel in London as Anthony was tired after the long drive through Europe and the ferry crossing. He promised me that the next day we would go and buy me some clothes more befitting a baronet's wife as my own wardrobe was somewhat plain and looked cheap. I had never had much money to spend on clothes or cosmetics and Granny Violet had been very much a make do and mend kind of person. I was grateful though that I had always had what I needed for I knew that there were some poorer children who had nothing but what they stood in.

Anthony fell asleep fairly quickly that night but I lay awake; deeply worried about what was to come. My initial reception at Locksley had long been a worry for me although Anthony had reassured me that they would all love me. Eventually I fell asleep in his arms.

OO

The following day Anthony took me out and brought me a whole new wardrobe. I can't describe how I felt in all these new clothes but it was like I had almost left the old plain Edith Crawley behind forever. Well at least appearance wise for I could not change my shy nature much as I wanted to. I held on to the things Anthony had said while we were courting; that I was a breath of fresh air. But there were some nagging doubts in my mind with regard to my future as mistress of Locksley that I could not quite leave behind.

We had lunch at Selfridges and Anthony held my hand across the table.

"Are you happy, my sweet Lady Strallan?" he asked me.

"Yes for the most part although I am nervous about what is to come; my reception at my new home. I believe your reassurances for you know your household better than me but there is one fear I can't shake and I don't know why,"

A fleeting shadow crossed his face and he set his jaw in a firm line and shivered, as though recalling an unhappy memory. The moment passed so quickly that I was never quite sure after all whether I had seen it or not so could not see it as the portent of gloom that it indeed was.

OO

We came close to Locksley late the following afternoon. I felt my stomach knotting and almost sick with fear. Anthony laid a reassuring hand on my arm.

"It really will be alright," he murmured softly.

We swept down the long drive and I observed the verdant well kept lawns and the brightly coloured Hibiscus and Rhododendrons lining the path.

"We'll be a bit early for bluebells I'm afraid," Anthony said, "but still the woods are magical anytime of year and I simply cannot wait to walk through them with you."

As we swept around the corner the house came into view and Anthony audibly sighed as he saw a large crowd of people in serving clothes gathered outside.

"I'm sorry about this," he sighed, "but it looks like a welcoming committee despite me saying we wanted no fuss."

"They want to see what I'm like," I replied, choking back the nervous bile burning my throat, "they will be serving me after all but pretty soon the novelty will wear off."

"We can hope," he muttered.

The car stopped. A tall man with dark hair who looked extremely serious and had a grim look

"It's good to see you again, Sir," he said. He turned to me and bowed his head, "Lady Strallan,"

"Darling, this is Carson, the butler."

"How do you do?" I said, flushing slightly under his somewhat intense scrutiny.

"Very well my Lady, I hope that you have had a restful journey?"

Anthony helped me out of the car and we followed Carson over to the gathered ensemble. My head was in a whirl as I made an effort to memorise names and faces so I would not insult them by getting it wrong. They seemed pleasant enough but I was yet to meet my nemesis.

Someone advanced from the sea of faces, someone tall and gaunt, dressed in deep black, whose prominent cheek-bones and great, hollow eyes gave her a skull's face, parchment-white, set on a skeleton's frame.

She came towards me and I held out my hand, envying her for her dignity and composure; but when she took my hand hers was limp and heavy, deathly cold, and it lay in my hand like a lifeless thing.

"This is Mrs Danvers," Anthony said, "she is good enough to see to everything whether I am here or not; nothing happens at Locksley without her knowing about it.

I felt her cold gaze on me and I tensed; I could almost feel indifference bordering on vehement hatred coming from her in waves and shivers ran down my back. I had an ill- feeling that she meant us harm and prayed that I would be proved wrong.


	7. Chapter 7 Settling in

**A/N I apologise for the wait. Real life got in the way. **

**Chapter 7**

I was glad when the introductions were over and Anthony ushered me into the library for tea. I was impressed by the room; it seemed comfortable and there was a blazing fire. A Springer spaniel lay in a basket and it ran over to us, sniffing at me. I had always been wary of dogs, mainly because I had little experience of them, but Anthony ruffled the dog's head and ran his fingers along its silky brown ears.

"Hello Jasper," he said affectionately as the dog licked his outstretched hand. I warily patted him.

The room was carpeted in dark red and panelled in dark wood. Mahogany I guessed. The volumes on the shelves looked well thumbed and I ventured to wonder if there were any valuable first editions among them.

We sat and tea was brought; I was impressed by the range of food on offer although I was not especially hungry. There were crumpets, delicate sandwiches, scones and angel cake along with cups of scalding tea, hot, strong and sweet just as I liked it. I wondered would happen to whatever we didn't eat; would it be wasted or brought out on another occasion. But I did not like to ask Anthony and I would not have dared to ask Mrs Danvers.

When we were alone again Anthony pulled me close to him and kissed the top of my head.

"Are you alright my love?" he asked, "I'm jolly sorry about the welcoming committee; it must have been tiresome for you after the long journey and the apprehension you already felt,"

"It wasn't so bad," I rested my head on his shoulder, "At least I know who everyone is now although they probably think I'm awfully low class."

"It doesn't matter what they think," Anthony replied, "I pay their wages, not you. As far as I'm concerned you are now Lady Strallan, mistress of Locksley, and if they don't like it they know where the door is."

Mrs Danvers evidently did not like me but I somehow suspected she was not likely to walk although I did not dare say that.

A while later Carson came in. Anthony and I were nestled close to each other and he coughed.

"My Lady, Mrs Danvers was wondering if you might like to see your room."

"Yes, that would be fine Carson," I said hesitantly.

OO

We followed Carson and Mrs Danvers upstairs and all the while her cold flint-eyed gaze unsettled me yet I did not feel brave enough to challenge her.

"The East Wing is already for you," she said, "We feared it would not be ready in time,"

"I'm sure they have done a first-rate job, Mrs Danvers," Anthony said with a smile. I could not tell if he disliked her as much as me or if she was merely tolerated due to long service.

My bedroom was spacious. The fire had not yet been lit but the bed was draped in a red quilt and the bedstead itself was wood. There was a dressing table and a chamber pot sat on the bedside cabinet. The curtains were open and fluttering in the breeze. Adjoining the bedroom was a small dressing room with wardrobes where my clothes would hang.

"Might I enquire when your maid will be arriving, Lady Strallan?" Mrs Danvers asked.

"I, I don't actually have one," I stammered and kicked myself.

"It is usual for ladies in your position," I did not fail to notice the derision with which she said the word ladies with relation to me.

"Perhaps you would see to it for me then," I faltered, desperate not to let her sense she had un-nerved me, "perhaps a young local girl wanting to train?"

"I shall look into it in the next day or so, Lady Strallan. In the meantime one of the housemaids will have to suffice I suppose." The way in which she said it suggested that to release a housemaid from her regular duties to attend to me was a major sacrifice.

We walked around the rest of the wing in silence which was broken only occasionally by Mrs Danvers pointing out changes which had been made although obviously it meant nothing to me because I had not been there before today.

"As I said, a first rate job Mrs Danvers," Anthony said.

"Thank you Sir Anthony," she bowed her head.

Anthony's room was a little larger and grander than mine but I did not mind as I suspected I would sleep with him rather more than I did alone. But I did get a sense that would be confirmed as quite correct sometime later, that the first Lady Strallan's rooms had been far grander than mine. I was yet to understand the fuss about the east wing being done up but I could hardly expect Anthony to want to sleep in the same room where he had slept with his late wife.

We spent the rest of the evening relaxing in the library; drinking wine and cuddling each other. Anthony said very little: in fact he was deep in thought and I imagined it must be difficult for him to come back to where he had lived with her.

We retired about eleven and made love. Afterwards we lay together, holding each other and I was comforted by the musky post coital smell of him. I loved him to distraction but I had the sense that things would not be easy for me here.

"I really do love you, Edith," he murmured.

"I love you too, Anthony darling," I murmured as his arm tightened around my slender body. I fell asleep with my head rested on his chest.

OO

When I awoke Anthony was dressing. The maid had brought us tea and mine was lukewarm for which Anthony had apologised saying he hadn't wanted to wake me.

I dressed quickly and we went down for breakfast. I was awed by the huge silver dishes containing bacon, kedgeree, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms and sausages plus the array of cereals and toast. I was actually quite hungry this morning so I ate heartily while trying not to make a pig of myself. While I liked mushrooms I avoided them fearing that somehow Mrs Danvers had substituted them with a deadlier variety. Of course this idea was nonsense but the woman's presence in this house caused me to feel acute dread whenever I thought of her. I did not confide my fears to Anthony; I sensed he was already finding being back here more difficult than he had anticipated and I did not want to trouble him with something so trivial

I was finishing my coffee when Carson called Anthony to the telephone. He excused himself and left the room dabbing his chin with his napkin.

He looked aggrieved when he returned.

"My sister Lady Charlotte is coming to visit later. She actually lives in London but she is holidaying in the area."

I sighed; after the trauma of yesterday's impromptu welcoming committee the last thing I wanted was to have more strangers foisted on me. Anthony sensed this.

"They won't stay long, she and her husband I mean," he promised me as he kissed my cheek,

I sighed deeply.

"I can put her off for a day or so my darling," he drew me close to him.

"No, it's alright. I would rather get the meeting and greeting done as soon as possible so I become less of a curiosity,"

"She will love you, Edith darling, If she does not like you then she will tell you to your face."

Somehow, this did not fill me with confidence although I wished I had the nerve to tell Mrs Danvers to her face that she made me feel uneasy.


End file.
